What can I do now?

What can I do now?

The judicial system at your child’s school can seem as if it is deliberately set up to keep you out of the process, and in some ways it is.There are many reasons for this, including privacy laws and the nature of the educational system itself,which encourages and expects your child to reflect upon her actions and to advocate for herself.We believe in the theory behind such judicial systems, but the benefit is often lost on students who, when confronted by this daunting process, cannot participate effectively.While school policy and privacy laws may stop you from being able to participate directly, there is still quite a lot you can do.

  1. Be there for your child.
    Almost without exception,the students going through the process understand the enormity of their actions.They believe that they have let everyone down, would do anything to take it back, and would “never do it again.”The system will treat them fairly, but will not make any assumptions, so the student may, for the first time ever, feel like the “bad” kid.The ones who handle it the best are the ones who find support from the people who know them best. The more you can be there to listen to them and help them remember who they are, the better they will do.
  2. Make sure they avail themselves of the resources available to them.
    Your child’s school is concerned about the health and well-being of every student. There are academic and psychological counselors to help her through this time.There are hall directors, resident assistants, and other student affairs professionals who can help her stay focused and find the tools she needs to keep her head above water. Encourage your child to take advantage of all the resources available to her.If you are having trouble finding those resources, start by contacting the Dean of Students, who should either be able to tell you what you need to know or point you in the right direction.
  3. Check in on your child.
    You know her better than we ever could, so we cannot tell you how you can be the most helpful, but we can tell you that erring on the side of being over-supportive is a good strategy. Students often feel as if they have put their friends and family through enough and that by calling they are making it worse.Checking in on her lets her know that she has not exhausted your support.
  4. Prepare for the worst as you hope for the best.
    Most cases will not result in expulsion.This means that most cases will result in some sanction that will allow your child the opportunity to return to the school and complete her studies.It also means that she may be suspended (i.e.,forced to leave the college) for a semester or more.If that were to happen, how would you respond? No action, even expulsion, will stop your child from being as successful as she would have been in the absence of the incident. It does, however, mean that she will need to take a different approach, and it will help if you can be a good thinking partner for her.
  5. Contact us.
    The fact that you are visiting our site means that you want to do everything you can for your child.We know that we have the experience, education, and insight that make us your child’s best chance for the best result, and we want to help.Whether or not you retain us, please encourage your child to take advantage of our free assistance. This should help her navigate the meetings and make sure she gets the information she needs to move forward.If you do retain our services, we will be there for your child from before the first meeting through when she applies for that dream job or graduate program. Please look through our site and contact us with any questions you may have.